


fire slowly turned to pain

by xfrinz



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xfrinz/pseuds/xfrinz
Summary: Neji Hyuuga is not dead when Naruto lays him into Lee's arms.
Relationships: Hyuuga Neji & Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hyuuga Neji & Rock Lee, Hyuuga Neji & Rock Lee & Tenten, Hyuuga Neji & Tenten
Kudos: 63





	fire slowly turned to pain

He feels every second of his death.

Gai-sensei had once told him that death was usually quick and painless on the battlefield- enemies usually went for fatal wounds, just to make sure that they wouldn’t be surrounded by enemies as they fought through the other side.

This, though. This wasn’t an enemy shinobi, or even an enemy platoon. This was a creature so powerful that there was no way for any one nation to even dream of defeating it. This was the root of all chakra- this was some insane creation of Madara Uchiha.

Neji had kind of figured that he wouldn’t be surviving this.

It hurts. It had first felt like when Lee punched Neji in the chest, and he lost his breath for a few minutes.

It hadn’t felt fatal until the spike had pulled itself out of his chest. Then, like Neji suddenly regaining his breath, the blood had flushed out of his wound, so quickly and so loudly that he hadn’t been able to stay standing.

Naruto had caught him as his knees buckled. He had thought that Neji would survive.

Neji had already known that he was dying. Tsunade had been cut in half back in Suna, and Sakura (the only other med-nin who could have saved Neji) was across the battlefield. Neji was going to die.

Not a lot of people thought about the caged bird seal outside of those who had it and those who performed it. A punishment seal, not a mind control seal- it could train those who had it, the same way that a dog could be trained with a heavy stick, but it couldn’t control them. Neji had not jumped in front of Hinata because the seal compelled him to, but if he hadn’t-

If Neji had returned from the battlefield, and Hinata hadn’t-

If the Hyuuga heiress had died, and her branch family whipping boy had lived-

Well. The seal hurt more than the spike ripping into him and tearing back out of him.

That’s alright. Naruto can bear the burden of protecting Hinata, from now on.

Neji doesn’t die, when he finishes talking to Naruto. Naruto lays him back into someone’s arms- Lee’s, they have to be, so muscular but still wrapped in such a horrendous material- and he is still alive.

Neji wants Tenten, but she’s fighting in Kumo. Tenten is gentle, and she would stroke Neji’s hair away from his forehead, would undo his forehead protector, would be soft and gentle with him as he died.

Neji can still see, as Lee holds him. Lee is holding back tears- badly- as he whines and hyperventilates in order to try and stop crying.

He’s still sobbing. Neji can feel Lee’s tears drip onto his face as his vision blurs. Lee is a smudge, now, his skin dark and his hair black and his jumpsuit blending with the darkness of the sky.

Neji isn’t crying. Neji rarely cries- he thinks that the last time that he had cried was before the chuunin exams, when his uncle had activated his curse seal, and it had hurt so much that Neji had been certain that he would die, and he had been afraid.

Neji can trust Lee to win this fight. Lee is- Neji would smile, if he could still feel his face- a splendid shinobi. A shining example of youth.

Neji wishes that he still had the blood and the strength to form words. He has so many words that he wants to give to everyone- he wants to tell Lee that he’s proud of him. He wants to tell Lee that he has, truly, become a splendid shinobi. He wants to tell Lee that he was a good friend, that he’s sorry for what a shithead he was when he was younger, that he loves him. He wants to tell Tenten that she’s the most amazing shinobi he knows, that she’s ten times the shinobi he ever was, that he’s glad to have been her friend, that he’s sorry for being such a shithead. He wants to thank Gai-sensei for how kind he was to Neji, for taking care of him, for being such a good father figure, for supporting Neji.

He wants Gai-sensei. He wants Gai-sensei to carry him, like he once had when Neji caught that horrible flu on a C-rank in Taki. He wants Gai-sensei to tell him that everything’s gonna be alright, like he had after the chuunin exams. He wants Gai-sensei to tell him he did well. He wants Gai-sensei to comfort him.

Lee slides his eyes shut, and Neji is still alive. He cannot see, cannot feel his legs, can barely hear anything that isn’t a strange, muffled, blended together murmur.

He feels the sudden surge of Naruto’s chakra, feels it surround him and coat Lee.

Neji wants his mother, who he has never met. He wants his father, who he barely remembers- dead nearly fifteen years, now. He wants his father to praise him, to tell him that he’s become a wonderful shinobi, that he’ proud of his son. He wants the comfort of being held by a mother, the comfort he’s never experienced enough to remember. He wants his academy teacher- he can’t remember his academy teacher’s name, suddenly.

Neji is dying.

He wants Lee to stay with him, but he can already feel him walking away. He wants to kiss Lee again, wants the last thing he feels to be the comfort of Lee’s grasp. He wants Lee to hug him until he’s dead. He wants Tenten to hug him, wants to feel Tenten hold his hand, wants Gai-sensei to hug him. He wants to feel human warmth before his body goes cold.

Neji can’t feel his torso. Can’t even feel the blood soaking and dripping down his torso, can’t feel the ground pushing against his back.

Neji wants Hinata to say something to him. Naruto had spoken to him after he was wounded. Had told him that he would protect Hinata. Had hugged him, before he gave him to Lee.

Hinata hadn’t said anything. She had stood in the background, and gasped, and called out once for Naruto and once for Neji, with no words to follow his name.

He wants Hinata to thank him. To speak to him. To tell him that she wishes he hadn’t been branded.

He wants her to apologize.

He knows, it’s not her fault that he was branded, but he wants her to apologize anyway. He wants her to tell him that she should have fought her uncle, should have demanded Neji’s seal removed. He wants to be able to comfort her one last time, to be able to tell her that it’s not all her fault.

Neji can’t feel his arms. His eyes ache, and then burn, and his body spasms involuntarily at the pain. Having no eyes, not having the ability to see at all, is somehow different than Neji had expected. Not like having his eyes shut, or only being able to see darkness. It is nothing. Not blackness, because that would be something, but it is nothing, and Neji knows that this is what death will look like.

He wants his mother and father. The dead are supposed to guide you through the afterlife, aren’t they? He wants his parents to each take one of his hands, like civilian parents do with their small children, and walk him into the afterlife. He wants his father to apologize, he wants his mother to call him a son that she can be proud of. He wants a soft kiss on the forehead, a soft hug, something soft and sweet and comfortable.

He cannot feel anything. Neji Hyuuga exists only within his own head, now. If Lee were still holding his hand, he wouldn’t be able to tell. If Gai-sensei were carrying him, he wouldn’t know. If Tenten were clasping his hand, he would have no idea. If anyone is speaking to him, telling him that everything’s alright, telling him that they’re proud, calling him a genius-

Neji Hyuga is more dead than alive.

He wants something sweet. He can’t remember what his favorite sweet is, anymore, but he wants something sweet. He wants his life to end in sweetness.

He wants to feel, again. He can’t remember what feeling is, anymore, but he wants it. He wants sensation, kind sensation. He wants to end as he was.

He wants to be alive. He no longer knows what alive means, what it is, if alive is warmth or kindness or cruelty, or what warmth or kindness or cruelty is, but he wants to live. He wants to _live_ , to not be dying, to not already be dead.

He doesn’t remember his name. He doesn’t know why he can’t see. He doesn’t hurt, anymore, but he doesn’t know what pain is. He feels so nothingness, he is sinking into the nothingness and he doesn’t know where he is going. He doesn’t know if he is going, really.

He wants to go home. He wants to be safe. He wants to be happy. He wants his friends and his family and he wants something sweet. He wants to not be afraid.

He wants


End file.
